Courage

What is courage?

Webster defines it as "the attitude of facing and dealing with anything recognized as dangerous, difficult or painful".

We often hear the phrase "mustering up some courage" like its somewhere buried inside of ourselves. Remember the Wizard of Oz when the cowardly lion wanted courage? Eventually he found that it was "within" him...that he had it all of the time.

Sometimes during great trauma, we see others as having brave acts of courage like on September 11. We laud those who show bravery and accomplish great things. And it is all coming from within each person.

In my own family, my great grandfather came over from Norway when he was but 12 without his family. Just came aboard a ship and landed in the Americas. He first went to Wisconsin as the landscape reminded him of Norway and there were big settlements of Norwegians there. After just being in country for 3 weeks, he signed up with the Wisconsin infantry in 1860 and served in the Civil War all four years. That took courage for him to travel to the states and to join WAR at the age of 12. He was known to have swam in Antietam Creek in Maryland with Confederate troops marching along side of the creek, and he only had a plant stem in which to breathe. Aafter the battle of Antietam, he is known to have shook President Lincoln's hand, where Lincoln remarked about how young these soldiers were and fighting for their country. My great grandfather, Knut exhibited much courage.

In my own life, courage has entered the door to Susie many times. For me it hasn't been so much of physical danger but rather emotions where I needed courage to get from one step to the other.

When I moved to New Mexico some 22 years ago, I had but $1000 to my name and two young sons to take care of. I didn't have a job, or a place to live....Driving down it took all the courage I had. The same great grandfather that served in the Civil War, lost 5 of his children to diptheria in the 1870's and then his wife died of pneumonia. He gathered up his one living son and moved to North Dakota and all he had was $60.00. I figured out in my mind that if HE could do that then I could do what I needed to do! So I did!

One summer many years ago my sons told me on the phone that they wanted to stay with their Dad rather than be with me. I got in my car and drove through the night nearly 1000 miles to see them and make heads and tails out of the situation. I remember crying all the way up there and stopping to get gas was interesting because people didn't know who to treat this weepy woman. When I arrived there I felt so utterly "attacked" and it took every bit of courage I could muster to go through those painful moments. I know it was hard on everybody concerned and it hurt like a knife had pierced my heart and my very soul. It took courage then to just be.....and then to drive back without them. I am so grateful to have had courage inside of myself to be able to draw upon for that time.

Most recently I didn't feel well one morning, hadn't for quite some time but I decided I needed to go to the clinic and have it checked out. The Dr said I had "congestive heart failure" and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It took all the courage I had to go through the tests and procedures and operations to make my heart "livable".

I would characterize courage by saying that it is the opposite of fear. Many might disagree but I do think of it as an opposite. For both cannot occupy the same thought at the same time.

Hence,I choose courage rather than fear to live my life.