Where There Is Injury, Pardon

Where There Is Injury, Pardon

In thinking about this segment of St. Francis' prayer, I had some "awakenings" for sure!

First, I thought about how the many times I have felt 'injured' by another. Since I was very young I have had the perception that members of my family, my friends and the world at large had done things to hurt me. I thought about the times I felt like my mom and dad were cruel and heartless. I thought about the times I felt unworthy, ashamed, and 'less than' stemming from their words or their actions. I thought about my sons and how I have felt 'stricken' by some of their words and actions. I thought about some of my bosses and how I have felt 'preyed' upon by their words and actions. I thought about loves in my life and how I have felt devastated by some of their words and actions. I thought about all of the health concerns I have had for the last 40 years and how my body has felt invaded and taken advantage of.

I have felt so much the victim in sooooooooo many ways. And 58 years of feeling 'victimized' have certainly helped me understand the word of injury.

And then when I think of the word, pardon, it speaks of forgiveness. It speaks to me of letting things go. It speaks to me of NOT being a victim but rather of being victorious in my feelings and my actions. It speaks to me of peace, pure and holy peace.

THEN I thought about all the times I have injured another. My words and actions ;have sometimes been unkind and hurtful. In all my misgivings about my mother, it occur ed to me how many times I must have hurt her, disappointed her, frustrated her. I thought about the times I acted 'less than' and how it hurt my dad. I thought about the things I have done that have hurt my sons, both in word and in action. I thought about person after person after person that I have been unkind in my thinking, in my words, and in my actions.

This part was much harder than thinking about the wrongs of others. Sometimes in doing this thinking, I had to change the avenue of thought because it was still so hurtful to me in thinking about what I had done, and what I have left undone.

And then, pardon comes into the equation. Pardoning myself is such a big act. I once heard that forgiveness was in essence like feeling and acting as if no harm had ever been done. So this is quite a trip!

I wouldn't say that I've done this completely.....some self things are just hard to forgive, but I have done it in part. I realize that I am just who I am, no more and no less. I understand that I'm doing the best I can....at any given moment. I treasure the instances that I feel that forgiveness of myself and I am filled with peace, with joy, with love.

The trick, I think, is to get to that point instantaneously. To forgive others and myself the second it happens. I'm practicing that concept. I'll keep you posted on its progress!

Whenever there is injury, may I be quick to pardon.